2015 - New Year - New Me

2015...  I have never been so happy to put one year in my rear view mirror and to see a new year ahead of me. 
In the months since my last surgery, I expected that I'd just jump into my old 'BC' routine (BC = Before Cancer)... easier said than done I found out.  Establishing new routines takes time - and I need to figure out what the 'new normal' is going to be.  The truth is, my body gets tired easier.  Hot flashes are a routine occurrence throughout the day (and night).  I've lost most of the strength that I had gained (BC) and it's going to take time and effort to get it back.

AND THAT'S OKAY!

I'm learning that I have to give myself some grace.  To be patient.  But 'grace' is not an excuse for not trying.  It's not an excuse to be lazy.  It means I get to CrossFit 2 or 3 times a week and that I'm okay with just using an empty bar in my workouts.  That I'm okay with going slower and making modifications.  It means hikes with the dogs take a bit longer to get to the top.  But it means that I do get to the top.  That I keep moving forward.


I kept myself sane last year by rewarding the small victories in my journey.  And so I will continue to do just that.

While it would be very easy to remember all the negatives of 2014... there were also some amazing positives.  I met some wonderful new friends and reconnected with some precious old ones.  I also got back into riding again and (for better or worse) I bought a horse.  'Tailor' is a bit like me.  He was young and shiny and full of promise at one time - and then years passed.  He's a little out of shape and has some aches and pains and likes to do things 'his way'.


....fast forward to Spring 2017...
I logged into my blog for the first time in 2 years to find the above post still in 'draft mode'.  I contemplated just deleting it, but then thought better of it and figured I should instead, just add on.
For better or worse, not a ton has changed... I am still trying to figure things out and am constantly asking myself, is this how I'm supposed to be feeling?  The hot flashes still continue; the weight hasn't decreased; day-to-day aches and pains seem more than they should for a person not yet 50.  And yet... I was told by my surgeon in January that I had passed my 3 year mark and no longer needed to see him; I continue to go to my crossfit classes and am still modifying my workouts but am still just fine with that; my golf game is still nothing to write home about, but I'm still out there playing with a great group of ladies; and Tailor and I have gotten good enough to try competitions last year - and while we placed close to last in every class, it was a success just to be there!

So I encourage all of you to embrace every day and the challenges it brings you.  Until next time...